Tuesday Terror! Not for the faint of heart…

The stuff of nightmares…

 

Normally I stick to short stories for the horror slot, but many of our greatest poets have also turned their hand to curdling the blood from time to time. So here, from the pen of one of the most prolific poets of all time, Mr Anonymous, comes a tale so dreadful it’s not surprising cruel parents use it to torture their children into fits. If you’re brave enough, read on for this week’s…

 

Tuesday Terror

A tale of horror by Anonymous

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Mr Anonymous's nicer brother...
Mr Anonymous’s nicer brother…

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Three blind mice! Three blind mice!

Already Anonymous tears at the reader’s gentle heart with this pathetic depiction of our main protagonists. What happened to them, we wonder? What dreadful event left them in this sorry condition? Anonymous leaves the backstory unfilled, leaving the reader palpitating with dread…

three mice

See how they run! See how they run!

Poor little things! What are they running from? What terrible pursuer do they fear? The repetition acts to drum home to us the dire awfulness of their situation…

tom chasing jerry

They all ran after the farmer’s wife

Ah! The reader is overwhelmed by a sense of relief! Thank goodness there’s someone there who can save them, protect them, nurture them! But Anonymous is playing dark, disturbing tricks with the poor reader’s sensibilities. (You may want to get out a tissue before you read on…)

three blind mice 3

She cut off their tails with a carving knife

Whaaaaaaaaaattttttttt?!? She did what?!? What is she, some kind of monster?? Now the poor little things are not only blind but tail-less!

three blind mice

Did ever you see such a thing in your life?

No, Anonymous, I did not! Not until you put the horrible idea into the middle of my nightmares anyway. You sick person, you! I hope someone chops your tail off!!!

three blind mice 2

As three blind mice!

Oh, that’s right, you sadistic creep! Rub it in, why don’t you? I hope the Pied Piper of Hamelin brings the rats round your way…

Rat 4

* * * * * * *

Oh, I’m ever so sorry! I don’t know what came over me there! Do forgive me!

* * * * * * *

Certainly the poem wins on rhythm and rhyming structure, but it’s far too graphic and gruesome for my taste, and Anonymous fails to give adequate insight into the motivation of the farmer’s wife. While it would be hard to forgive her under any circumstances, perhaps she had some terrible childhood experience that would go some way towards at least explaining her actions…

mickey mouse

Anonymous, too, one feels, must have had a traumatic childhood, when one considers some of his other works…

Humpty Dumpty – the tragic, gruesome death of an egg.

humpty dumpty

Sing a Song of Sixpence – four and twenty blackbirds are thrust live into a baking oven. One feels that when the maid’s nose was pecked off it was a form of just revenge.

pecked off her nose

Rock-A-Bye Baby – a child is first abandoned and then hurled to its almost certain death.

rock a bye baby

Now I think about, the mice got off fairly lightly…

* * * * * * *

Fretful Porpentine rating: 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯

Overall story rating:          😀

* * * * * * *

(Some people think that the farmer’s wife represents Mary Tudor – Bloody Mary – and the mice are three Protestant bishops she burned at the stake. Somehow I don’t find this explanation much more comforting than the mouse version…)

three blind mice bishops

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64 thoughts on “Tuesday Terror! Not for the faint of heart…

  1. If you think about it, a lot of nursery rhymes and songs have a pretty gruesome background story – like Ring a Ring a Rosies and the plague. At least the spider takes revenge on Miss Muffet!

    • Yes, they make a bit more sense I suppose when you know the backgrounds, but they are pretty horrible! Ha! I should have worked a spider into the post – that always makes my sister scream!

  2. *laughing* Effie… This. Was. Awesome. You know, mother’s sing these to children! What’s with that? When you stop and think on things…wow, it’s just crazy.

    But here’s the thing…if the three blind mice were running after the farmer’s wife…doesn’t that make them the bad ones? And how did they find her if they were blind? So many questions.

    Humpty Dumpty always bothered me as a kid… And the baby one…someone is trying to get rid of a kid, I say.

    Mickey hater!!

    • *laughing* Thank you! You inspired this post, you know, you know… from ages ago when we were talking about Three Blind Mice for some obscure reason! If only you could play it, I could have had a musical version! I know – the stories we tell children – no wonder half of them grow up to be little monsters! But anything that scares horrid little kids is alright with me…

      I suspect they caught her scent – she’s the type who’d be smelly, don’t you think? And maybe they were running after her because she was carrying a giant cheese…

      Rock A Bye Baby is a horrible song – I hated it even when I was a kid. Why on earth would any mother sing that to a child???

      *laughs lots* You have to admit he looks… weird!

      • No way! Now that is something. You must’ve really thought about it. I mean, I thought about it, too. Nursery rhymes are so bothersome. In a bothering way. *laughs* But maybe they grow into monsters because that’s what gets sung to them?

        *laughs* Ew. But I’m betting you’re right. Wasn’t it Mary who never bathed? No, wait, that was Elizio.

        I don’t know! It’s almost like singing, “I hope you die soon.” It must’ve had different lyrics at first. It must have!!

        Very weird! I can’t stand him, actually.

        • *laughs* I’d love to pretend I’d given it a lot of thought, but truth is I just couldn’t be bothered reading any horror stories this week! Hmm… I think they’re born monsters, and when mothers realise it that’s when they start trying to scare them into good behaviour. It works better on some than on others though… *looks hard at the Professor*

          *laughs* Oh no – Elizio was the clean one – she bathed once a year whether she needed it or not…

          Oh, you should set those lyrics to music! Go on, I’m sure it’d be a massive hit! *chuckles madly*

          The cartoon version is OK, but all these Disneyland critters just look terrifying! I don’t understand why kids like them…

          • Haha, I might’ve guessed that. Still, it’s super cool when you go rogue on us. Of course those tactics didn’t work with the professor. I was a warrior from time of birth, remember. Ah, those were the days.

            She needed it or not! Hm. I do wonder how she calculated such things. *shudders*

            You know, I bet the girls would really like that sort of song. Take out their frustrations, see.

            But the cartoon one has a horrid voice!

            • *laughs* Go rogue – I like that! But how can I be sure you’re telling the truth? If only there was a photo of a warrior-babe-Prof to prove it… Ah, yes, you were such a great warrior once upon a time – until you traded the worm-hunt in for the girl-flirt! *shakes head sadly*

              Counted the lice, maybe?

              *laughs lots* It seems odd to me, but I believe some girls actually like the horrid little things…

              *nods* American accent…

            • You’re like Jason Bourne, the sudden! Haha. But I am telling the truth! The very spot-on truth. Besides, you hate kids, remember. Am not neither ever ever a girl-flirt!!

              *laughs* Barbarians!

              Girls actually like lice?! I believe this, the sudden.

              It’s a mouse accent!

            • I am!!! Only prettier! No, I don’t believe you – I fear you were probably just a sweet little thing. And I won’t believe it till I see the evidence… Me thinketh the Profethor doth protetht too much…

              *gasps* You can’t say that – she’ll throw you in the Tower!

              *laughs lots* No, babies!! Though I grant there are similarities…

              *nods* Exactly!

            • I’ve never been sweet, of course. It might be possible. But if i was, surely it doesn’t count now. See, that’s taken care of.

              I’d beat up all the guards!!

              Well, I suppose lice could be cool. If you could send them out when you needed to. A secret weapon!

            • Oh, but you’re so sweet now! And it must have started sometime. I bet you were the type of baby total strangers drooled over and made disgusting coochy-coo noises… *gags a bit*

              The Tower of London guards have incredibly cool uniforms!

              It would work best on people with lots of hair… *suddenly thinks of Kenny, and snorts*

            • But…I can’t be sweet now. That ruins everything I say! I’m soooooo happy to announce I really don’t remember at all. But they better not have!

              Just goggled…so silly looking. I’d like one, too, the sudden.

              He’s got a wig, remember.

            • Don’t blame me! It’s not my fault! *laughs lots* You’re going to go around seeking revenge now, aren’t you…??

              You’d look stunning! And you’re just about in the right age range – you have to be ancient to get one…

              Nah, that has to be natural. I mean, who’d buy it?

            • Yes, I am! See? If that happened when I was younger, then it makes complete sense why I riot about now.

              Well, I’d thieve one if I didn’t get one!!

              I think it’s probably custom made, haha.

            • ‘Tis true! I think all babies should take revenge when they grow up. Imagine how awful – total strangers sticking their huge heads in your face and make incomprehensible cooing noises… *gags* No wonder humanity is so crazed…

              Then they would imprison you in the torture chamber, and possibly hang, draw and quarter you! *intrigued face*

  3. It has always been astonishing to me how terrifying those stories by Anonymous really are, FictionFan. Did you know that that author also wrote a terrifying story of three small kittens with an abusive mother? She refuses to feed them, just because they can’t find their mittens. Then, she punishes them because when they find their mittens, they get them a bit dirty. I mean, really!

    In all seriousness, there are so many nursery rhymes and children’s stories with really dreadful backgrounds and plots. And some people wondered if Harry Potter was suitable for pre-teen readers!

    • *gasps* Oh no! Poor little kittens! How terrible! I think I’ll have to send T&T round to sort that horrible Mr Anonymous out! Haha! They really are horrible some of them, aren’t they? But so were a lot of kids’ books from the past too – Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby and Mrs Bedonebyasyoudid – eek! It makes you wonder if parents actually hated their kids! 😉

      • Sometimes I wonder about that myself, FictionFan! 😉 – Those stories certainly aren’t made for soothing away fears, are they? Oh, and I can well imagine that T&T will have no trouble giving Mr. Anonymous exactly what he deserves! 😉

    • Then my work is done! 😉

      Yes, I spent a wee bit of time looking up the supposed meanings of some of them last night, and it’s actually quite interesting. But still horrible…

      • It’s amazing what they thought children should be entertained by in those days. Although, is it any worse than the violent computer games they have these days? Oh dear – I appear to be getting on some kind of high horse or other… wine please, nurse!

  4. This may be the funniest thing ever! I love it! That being said, I hate mice. And rats. Hate them. They shall not live with me. Only mouse I like is Mr. Mickey and Miss Minnie. You’re right about the nursery rhymes though. Love all the others mentioned by others as well. Well, we all know that the fairy tales were much more gruesome in their original state too. Are we happy that Mr. Disney decided to ‘pretty’ them up? I am.

    • Haha! Thank you – glad you enjoyed it! Yes, I had a previous pair of cats who used to bring home live mice and release them in the house – urghhh!! I could never convince them it wasn’t the great treat they seemed to think! I like the cartoon version of Mickey but I must say these Disneyland ones always look creepy to me…

      Yes, I much prefer the Disney versions – but I don’t think the horribleness bothered me nearly as much when I was a kid as now…

  5. I know nursery rhymes hail to a time when things and people were disguised…probably to protect the dastardly. And I know every kid grows up learning them, which is fairly easy because of the often-nonsensical rhymes. Still, one would think somebody could write something that would take their place, something not so vicious! Thanks for adding blind, tail-less rats to the Professor’s gruesome snakes — are y’all trying to give me nightmares??!

    • Haha! Sorry about that! We just need somebody to do a post about spiders now and we can all give up on any hope of sleep for a week…!

      Yeah, they’re funny things – especially Rock A Bye Baby. Why would a mother want to sing that to a child?? But on the whole they didn’t bother me as much as a kid as they do now – maybe kids just listen to rhythm rather than the words or something…

      • I think you’re right! The rhythm and the tune are what kids probably listen to, and they have no point of reference for people and events from way back when.

        • No, and sometimes the original stories are even more horrible than the rhymes! Haha! Mind you, when I was a horrid little kid, every time they did anything about the old Queens and Kings I used to get very annoyed that they never showed the beheadings…

  6. I avoided all the nursery rhymes when rocking my kids to sleep! They are terrifying! Obviously Anonymous was not an over-worked parent trying to get some precious shut-eye. I had to change the second verse of You Are My Sunshine as well. I detect nefarious author intentions!

    • No wonder! What amazes me is that so many mothers did sing them to their babies – especially Rock A Bye Baby – or Death Wish 7, as it should be subtitled…

      Haha! I used to sing You Are My Sunshine to one of my previous cats *blushes furiously* – verse 1 only! For ages I didn’t even know there were other verses, and really felt like apologising to her when I found out…

  7. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Not to mention extremely scary. I’m sleeping with the lights on tonight, not wishing the ghosts of baked blackbirds and tailless, blinded mice disturbing my dreams as they flutter and scrabble in tortured agony. Do you think the baked blackbirds were an early food scandal, like the horsemeat one, and people expected their pies to be mole pie (possibly even more unsettling). I think the farmer’s wife was really planning on running away to become a self-employed fisherwoman, and the tails were in lieu of worms to use as bait.

    I don’t think I can face supper tonight…………

    • Haha! Well, you know I’ve always held that little kids are horrid!! But I admit, most of these didn’t bother me as a kid either – except Rock A Bye Baby which I always thought was a horrible song. Still, anything that terrifies a child into fits can’t be all bad, eh? *wicked grin*

      • I used to like little ones, but it would be better for us all if I keep my visit short. Not only that, but I just can’t pay attention to little kids anymore. And I don’t want to.

        • Haha! Have you been playing granny too much recently? I must admit my tolerance for very little kids is pretty low, but I like young teens – they’re so cheeky but still quite innocent with it!

  8. Ooh I know this one! 🙂 I was actually a big fan of nursery rhymes, perhaps because they sound quite jolly but the words are anything but! What about Ding Dong Dell – I’m sure that must be a favourite of Tommy and Tuppence!

    • Aha! That explains your fascination for horrible crimes. Just think, if you hadn’t been taught nursery rhymes, you might be a regency romance fan!! Arrrrrghhhhhh! Fortunately I don’t have a well but Tommy was noted for falling down the loo regularly when he was a kit…

  9. LOL, you know, children used to be much less coddled than they are now. Gotta go find some more wholesome nursery rhymes to send my son off to sleep tonight. He thinks he’s such a tough 12-yr-old. Well! This will change his mind.Will have to add the story about Bloody Mary in the marginalia…sweet dreams, kiddo…

    • Haha! Yes, torturing children is so much fun! Kinda payback for all the worry and naughtiness! Don’t forget to show him lots of pictures of rats eating people etc – you don’t want him drifting off into untroubled sleep halfway through the night…

  10. Oh my goodness, I love this! I hadn’t thought of “Three Blind Mice” in years, until I sang it to Pearl one day and thought, “What is this farmer’s wife’s problem?” Definitely seems like an overreaction. I think Anonymous should write a prequel to explain how the mice became blind.

    • Oh, knowing Anonymous that story would probably be too horribly gruesome! Poor little mice! I suspect Anonymous may have some cat DNA… I must admit when my previous cats used to bring in live mice and release them in the house I wasn’t best pleased, but it never occurred to me to get out the carving knife…

  11. Incy Winsy spider
    Climbed up the spout;
    Down came the rain
    And washed the spider out:
    Out came the Sun
    And dried up all the rain:
    Incy Winsy spider
    Climbed up again.

    The horror, the horror………It KEPT ON COMING!

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