Wednesday Witterings…

You plus guest are hereby cordially invited to


Thanksgiving Dinner


So, the invites have gone out for Thanksgiving Dinner at my place and I’m hopeful all my guests will turn up and that some of them might even be sober! That was the easy bit though – the hard bit has been deciding on the seating arrangements. But I think I’ve finally got it worked out…


On my right, I shall have Rebus, because despite his grumpiness and his liking for a wee dram or two, he’s still got a weirdly cute vibe going on…


Next to him, Jane Tennison. I reckon that way she’ll drink most of the wine at this end of the table, meaning Rebus might still be sober enough for the post-prandial dancing…


On Jane’s right will be Lord Peter Wimsey – I’m intrigued to see whether his monocle will fall out when Jane propositions him, as she’s almost certain to before we get to dessert…


On Lord Peter’s other side will be Jessica Fletcher – don’t you think they’d make a wonderful match? He can quote poetry to her and she can explain the plot of Bedknobs and Broomsticks


Next along will be Nero Wolfe – I weighed up the disadvantage that he will eat most of the food against the advantage that he can bring along his cook Fritz to prepare the meal for us all…


And I thought I’d put Ruth Galloway beside Nero – next to him, even Ruth will be able to have an evening off from worrying about her dress size…

Elly Griffiths standing in for Ruth Galloway. Photo: Jerry Bauer
Elly Griffiths standing in for Ruth Galloway. Photo: Jerry Bauer

The bottom of the table is reserved for you, with your guest on your right – though the table can be extended if you’d like to bring more than one…

question mark

Next to your guest will be Archie Goodwin – well, you didn’t think I’d invite Nero without him, did you? Who’d do the driving? Plus he’s gorgeous and he dances divinely…

archie goodwin

And it will be nice for sweet young Maeve Kerrigan to have at least one attractive man next to her…

Jane Casey standing in for Maeve Kerrigan.
Jane Casey standing in for Maeve Kerrigan.

…since on her other side will be Andy Dalziel! Can’t wait to see how those two get along – they’ve got so much in common… er…

andy dalziel

But just in case Andy gets out of hand, I’ve placed Miss Marple on his other side. She’ll soon sort him out, and I doubt she’ll even need to use her knitting needles.

Miss Marple

The other advantage of having Miss Marple there is that she won’t be much competition in the romance stakes – since between her and me will be seated…

Oh come on! You knew it would be him! You girls can fight over Archie – Darcy is there just for me!!

* * * * * * *

RSVP – I do hope you’ll be able to come!


Happy Thanksgiving!


74 thoughts on “Wednesday Witterings…

  1. Oh, how I WISH I could choose my guests, FF! Here’s is my official rsvp to yours, however, I do request you don’t monopolize Darcy. Remember, it’s about sharing the feast. Haha. Have a great week!


  2. What a feast! I think I *will* come and bring along O’Half—not my
    better half, but the “other” half. Save a place for us near Nero–I think
    there be conversation there–and thanks!


    • Yes, he should be fun – but make sure he doesn’t hog all the turkey! And he might be a bit grumpy since he’ll be drinking wine rather than beer – I do hope the chair will be strong enough to withstand him. Ah, the worries of being a hostess… 😉


  3. I shall be delighted to attend – food, drink and amazing company! I can’t decide whether to bring The Dean – although dragging along my own creation might seem a bit flash – or the lovely Richard Sharpe. If I bring The Dean I’ll make sure he supplies his own whiskey 😀


    • Well, I was hoping you would bring the Dean – I’d love to hear him in conversation with Nero! Though I suspect the rascal might be more interested in Maeve or Ruth… still, since you’ll no doubt be flirting with Archie (who wouldn’t?) then it’ll be good if the Dean is distracted…

      T&T have also invited Terry along to share turkey scraps in the kitchen…


      • The Dean it is, then. He will make for a very interesting guest 🙂 I can’t promise that he will be on his best behaviour but I will be sure to get him home before he takes his trousers off.
        Terry is absolutely delighted – he is cleaning his feet in preparation as we speak 😉


        • Hahaha! Yes, I feel trouser-removal could cause a certain rowdiness to develop among the crowd – Jane Tennison would probably explode… or join in! There is a certain part of me that quite wishes to see his… ahem… nether garments though. Union Jack boxers, do you think? Or perhaps long-johns…


  4. Snortle chortle – now, can I check provision has been made for vegetarians? I think I’m going to bring Donna Tartt, as I shall enjoy seeing the two of you clash, she can I’m sure match you in any rapier thrust stakes as I casually throw into the dinner conversation (and not at all casually if there’s no food for a vegetarian, so that i get squiffy on too much wine and too many drams) how wonderful a book The Goldfinch is……………..and, whilst you and Donna are exchanging a heated conversation, I shall steal any chocolates, and, who knows, try to get acquainted with that rather attractive man in the white suit. We’ve never met, but I’d rather like to!

    PS the table setting looks delightful – I hope it won’t be too savaged after all the arguments, disagreements and in-fighting over the small number of rather attractive men. I shall be bringing a sneaky supply of laxatives to spike the drinks of the attractive women, in order to send all of you rushing anxiously for the ladies, leaving the field open for a probably unfed, decidedly tipsy vegetarian to make hay whilst the coast is clear. And it will be a particular pleasure to think of you and Donna continuing to argue whilst fighting for the loo. I’m assuming, that, as in all good quality venues there are about 40 toilets for gentlemen to every 1 for ladies.


    • Indeed yes! You shall have a plate of sprouts and potatoes – bolied since you won’t be wanting them roasted in goose fat! The pumpkin pie should help fill up any little spaces left over after this sumptuous dish!

      Ms Tartt!! I’m not sure she’ll fit in, since there won’t be any dodgy characters with fake Eastern European accents at the table, and I’m really hoping the guests will refrain from excessive vomiting – at least until the cheese course! However, given her propensity for rabbitting on, at least she won’t have time to eat much – perhaps you’ll be able to sneak her sprouts too! As your guest, of course she’ll be welcome. I’ve rearranged the seating so she can be between Andy Dalziel and Jane Tennison – I’m sure they’ll all hit it off delightfully! You’ll get on well with Archie, though I suspect you may have to duel with PorterGirl for him…

      I shall have my own toilet, like the Queen, but there will be a nice one for the ladies too – and a special Portakabin at the muddy end of the garden for Ms Tartt…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Now, that’s a dinner I’m looking forward to attending, FictionFan! I really do appreciate the invitation. And the conversation ought to be interesting, too. And when the driver who delivers Fritz’ grocery order is mysteriously killed, there’s a whole team of detectives right on the spot. And just think of the interactions among the guests. Ha! Wolfe and Dalziel… At any rate, thank you for the kind invitation; I’ll be there!


    • *gasps* I do hope the chocolate delivery man isn’t the second victim – not till the goods have been unloaded anyway! But I reckon the guests would all have to be considered suspects, so perhaps you could bring Joel Williams along to do the investigation – I’m not sure I trust any of the rest! Especially Miss Marple – I’ve always suspected she could arrange the perfect murder…

      Liked by 1 person

      • 😆 Yes, I think Miss Marple is quite a suspicious character. And don’t worry; the chocs will be delivered from a confectioners that sends its own people. No harm will come, per the International Treaty on Chocolate Rights 😉 And Joel will be happy to come along to your feast; he appreciates the kind invitation!


  6. Thanks for the invitation. O’Half and I’ll be there. Please put us
    near Nero Wolfe for some interesting conversation . . .


  7. I will gladly come and bring Cary Grant and some chocolate mousse. I will just slightly rearrange the seating, so that I have Cary on one side, Archie on the other, and the mousse right in front of me. Then I’d be ok with you hogging Darcy…


  8. I would love to attend your Thanksgiving feast. If you don’t mind, I’d like to bring Lt. Columbo. I think he’d strike just the right note of down-to-earth conciliation among the guests. Thanks for the invite. Looking forward to it very much.


    • Oh yes, you’ll both be very welcome – and I’ll turn the heating down so Lt. Columbo doesn’t have to remove his coat! I think I’ll sit him between Jessica and Andy Dalziel – I’m sure they’ll all get on wonderfully… 😉


  9. I can’t help but think with so many detectives someone is bound to be murdered at your Thanksgiving dinner! I envision a classic power outage after everyone has gathered around the table and when the lights come back nobody has moved except one person is dead. The conversations and arguments as they all tried to solve the mystery would be amazing though!


    • Gulp! I hope it isn’t me! Or… Darcy!!! No, I can’t bear the thought of losing any of these – not even Jane Tennison! I’ll have to invite someone expendable – aha! Harry Hole… though I fear that might put me in the position of being chief suspect…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for the lovely invitation, and I accept with much pleasure. I’ll be bringing Rafa just for fun (yes, he’s agreed to do a spin around the room with you, in exchange for the delightful meal!) As for me, I’ll be most interested in sitting near the entertaining Jessica Fletcher and within earshot of PorterGirl and The Dean. Will the Professor bring his guitar and a song or two?? Happy Thanksgiving, FF. I think this holiday’s a keeper and you should probably adopt it (with modifications to suit your needs, of course!!)


    • Oooh, Rafa and Darcy! That would be like deciding between… well, chocolate and chocolate! Fortunately I can always eat more chocolate! I have a horrible feeling that the Dean and Jessica might hit it off rather well. Perhaps we could persuade them to do a song and dance routine! PorterGirl will be busy flirting with Archie, I suspect. The Professor hasn’t RSVP’d – clearly frightened off by the threat of dancing! So I’ve sent his invite to Schwarzy…

      Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Brilliant! Glad you invited Archie Goodwin! And I hope Fritz Brenner is present, because he’s an excellent cook. You’re welcome to Darcy, as long as I can have Captain Wentworth. He’s my hubba hubba of choice.


    • Fritz has been locked in the kitchen – believe me, you certainly don’t want to eat at my place when I’m cooking! You may have to fight over Archie – I’m not sure how much fun the rest of the men will be on the dance floor, though Andy Dalziel is apparently a surprisingly smooth mover… Ooh, good choice of guest – Captain Wentworth will bring a much needed touch of class to the proceedings, and we can make up a foursome for the cotillion…

      Have a lovely Thanksgiving!


      • It was indeed lovely. Despite the competition, I managed to snare Archie for a jitterbug contest. We tripped the light fantastic. Captain Wentworth was understandably jealous.
        Looking forward to the cotillion if I can fit into my empire waist gown.


        • Aha! That explains why I spotted Archie and Captain Wentworth having a duel in the garden later! The cotillion was a lot of fun, but I don’t think Andy really understood the steps – poor Maeve! Hopefully her toes will be better soon…


  12. Would you have vegetarian food, by any chance? (This is where you rescind my invitation for being too troublesome.. 😛 ) Also, if I could sit next to Miss Marple..I’ve been reading a lot of her these days and I can’t think why I didn’t like her earlier..she’s such a dear.. 😀


    • How about a large turkey-shaped chocolate? Or I’m sure we could get creative with carrots… (Bet you understand now why my attempt at becoming a veggie failed so dramatically… 😉 ) Well, you certainly can’t sit between Miss M and my Darcy – too much competition! So that puts you between her and Andy Dalziel – but I’m sure she’ll protect you! So glad you’re coming! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, very festive – and my first Thanskgiving dinner, ever! Thank you. Delighted to come, hope all the places aren’t taken? I’ll bring fizz and as Mr Montalbano has already got a place, I think ‘ll bring Wallander, just because ;o)


    • It’ll be my first too! I do hope the pumpkin pie turns out OK – I wasn’t sure how long to boil it…

      Ooh, yes, Wallander! I hope that will be the one who looks remarkably like Kenneth Branagh – if so, I’ll swap you one dance with Darcy for one with him! My dance card’s filling up nicely now… 😉


  14. Oh dear. I missed the party of the year with all of those, erm… interesting.. and…delightful guests. I have been on call for my son (who might have brought a few super heroes). His car gave up the ghost and he needed help with my grandson’s and son’s transportation. The car is not yet in shape, but I hope it will not be too much longer or I will begin to drool.


  15. Oh, I missed the feast! I’d have brought the Reddleman from Return of the Native and Adam Bede – reckon they could both protect me if there was a murderer in our midst …


  16. I think you should have included Adam Dalgliesh and Reg Wexford.

    Also it would be impolite to invite Lord Peter Wimsey without Harriet. They would sit at opposite ends of the table, of course, as husbands and wives always do, but she’d be a great conversationalist for whoever she was sitting next to.

    And invite Falco and Helena. He might be a bit rough around the edges but she’d keep in check.


  17. Ha-ha! If only…. I would like to bring “Cracker” as portrayed by the inimitable Robbie Coltrane.
    Make sure your liquor cabinet in stocked and that you have an ashtray close to his place.
    Also make sure to serve liquor filled chocolates. LOL


    • Ooh, yes, he’d be fun – so long as he didn’t start a wee gambling school in the corner. We’ll put him between Miss Marple and Archie Goodwin – they’ll keep him under control!


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