Friday Frippery…

Darcy by any other name…


MarinaSofia this week upped the reviewing ante by producing a poem in lieu of a book review. Now, she has an unfair advantage by virtue of the fact that she is a poet, but nonetheless I feel the gauntlet has been thrown down.

So, never one to refuse a challenge, here goes…


darcy and lizzie scorn


There was a young woman from Longbourn
Who treated her suitor with much scorn
But when she saw his great house
She would fain be his spouse
The poor girl was really quite lovelorn.


darcy pemberley


Her sisters were terribly busy
Catching husbands, which left our poor Lizzie
On the shelf, until Darcy
Took her hand at a party*
And they danced till they both were quite dizzy.

* (well, you try and find a rhyme for Darcy, smartypants!)


darcy dancing


Now some people call this a romance
(Just ’cause they don’t like to dance)
But wait just a moment!
It’s deep social comment
And gets 5-stars from me! *happy trance*


darcy kiss


😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

OK, your turn. Now…who’s going to do War and Peace…?


* * * * * * *

PS If you’d like to see how it’s really done, do visit MarinaSofia’s blog, Finding Time to Write – a great place for poetry and reviews, plus she hunts down all the best locations for the readers and writers amongst us to lust after…

71 thoughts on “Friday Frippery…

  1. *laughing lots* That was a great poem, FEF! Nothing to be embarrassed about at all, don’t you know.

    Now, I have learned a few things about P&P, though, surprisingly. Have you noticed in the first picture? Lizio’s neck is out of proportion to the rest of her body! It’s juts forward at an odd angle. And the other thing is…well, Lizio is a different height in every picture! Haha.

    I do wonder what might rhyme with Darcy. You should’ve used his real name: Darby. But I still can’t think of something to rhyme.

    • *laughs* Thank you, kind sir! I learned everything I know from Shnoddy’s poetry classes!

      No she’s not! It’s just that Darby’s legs grow and shrink depending on the weather… *nods knowledgeably*

      Yeah – I tried Darby, but that was worse! She should have danced with Wickham instead… then I could have used… er…

  2. This is a super poem, FF, and I don’t even like poems which counts me out of doing War & Peace. Also – ‘car seat’ almost rhymes with Darcy (I am going to be thinking about this all afternoon now!)

  3. Oh, FictionFan, this is fantastic!!!! Absolutely wonderful!! I am impressed, and I love the way you preserve both the spirit of the novel and its wit.

  4. Jane Austen has sometimes perplexed me
    Her static plots often have vexed me
    But Ms. Ehle’s great beauty
    And Ms. Harker, a cutie
    Meant that P6P watchng annexed me!

  5. But I do much prefer thrilling tales
    Of pirates, or swordsmen, or whales
    Gentility’s pleasures
    Are best taken in measures
    Then I yearn for the unfurling sails!

    • But when pirates have furled up those sails
      And spotted the mermaids’ fine tails
      Their thoughts turn to romance
      Even swordsmen must dance!
      (But the same can’t be said of the whales.)

      • Although…

        Yes, all sailors come home from the sea
        Sit by hearth logs, and even drink tea
        But the mermaids who beckon
        Avoid dress balls, I reckon
        And are found where life’s maintenance-free

          • Laughing appreciatively! And note that I didn’t say I wanted to live a life on the sea, just read about it!

            For to read ocean tales from afar
            Suits much more than the life of a tar
            The thrill’s just vicarious
            No sea storms to harry us
            It’s more comfy and dry where we are!

            • Haha! Indeed it is! That was great fun, William – I don’t think I’ve ever had a limerick duel before! I declare the contest a draw! But “vicarious”/”harry us” gets the prize for best rhyme of the day…

  6. Oh my goodness! Your poetry is superlative! Or at least top notch (is that better than superlative?). I am not a poet at all. Ever. And I enjoyed looking at Colin Firth – again. LOL

    • HahaHA! Thank you! Top notch is definitely better! 😉 I fear the limerick is as “good” as I get – and even then sometimes it’s necessary to read it in a funny voice to make it scan… but any excuse for Darcy pics, eh?

  7. I heard along the Grapevine (cue for Wilson Pickett) that a messenger is flying North of the Border. Lizzie (not Jane Austen’s Lizzie but the one who wears a crown and has corgis) has told Carol Ann Duffy to pack her bags because she had been SACKED by her majesty. And I gather (so says Wilson Pickett) that someone will be knocking at your door any time soon with a hastily woven wreath of bay laurel leaves (unfortunately, given government cutbacks these are now from a tub of dried laurel leaves picked up from Lidl and stuck roughly together in the approximate shape by the use of staples. Still, it’s the thought that counts.

    I hope Carol Ann isn’t too devastated. At least its going to another Scottish woman poet

    PS – Parsee, arsey, karsey (she settled her arsey on the karsey?) Baroness Varsi, …….the possibilities are almost endless

    • Poor Carol Ann – if only someone had told her to stick to dodgy limericks! But I shall turn down the offer – I am aiming to become the Doggerel Laureate – my wreath shall be made from Bonio biscuits, with a carefully positioned squeaky toy at the brow!

      “Arsey on the karsey”???!!!!!!!! Oh, no – I don’t write erotic poetry!

      • What about scrapping the took her hand at the party line and replacing it with
        ‘introduced her to Baroness Varsi’ and rewriting the story so that instead of marriage and Darcy she finds her calling is politics and she takes a pop at standing for elections to the Labour Party Leadership? (Wonders briefly if a new career could await if I put in a bid to write one of the endless dreadful rehashes of our best beloved books. Jeremy Corbyn as Darcy??

        • Well if you’re writing it in rhyme then you may want to consider including the lines

          “and after Darcy she did dump
          She took up with that bounder, Trump
          It caused the folk to stop and stare
          She with her beauty, and he with his…”

          Hmm… now I just can’t seem to think of a word to rhyme with stare…

  8. Ah, I love when Darcy makes his inevitable comeback here. Wonderful poetry here, FF. Your love of the man really shows through. I wonder if “took her hand rather than parting” rhymes with that Darcy line? I’m not good at rhyming, you know. I never do it. I can’t even properly read a Dr. Seuss book! I get all garbledooked…

    Good Lord, to begin a poem about War and Peace?! *storms off to ask the Professor for his katana*

    • Haha! Thank you! I may write all my reviews as limericks in future – now what words rhyme with “maverick drunken cop”? 😉

      *laughs* Well that’d certainly be useful for the War part… I’m not sure he’d be much help with the Peace bit, though…

  9. Well done, FF!! You might claim to not be a poet, but your work says you are! And who but a true poet would even think War and Peace could be made into a poem??

    One tiny question for you: in the second picture, what kind of shirt is he wearing? It looks almost like a (gasp!) nightshirt!!

    • Haha! Thanks, Debbie… but I don’t think I’ll be looking for a publishing contract just yet! 😉 If War and Peace had been written entirely in limericks, though, it might have been more fun…

      *shocked* How dare you suggest my Lizzie saw him in his nightclothes before they were married! She would have turned discreetly away… and just peeked…

      • HaHa, then what kind of shirt was he wearing? Perhaps fashion from today has borrowed fashion from long ago — and given it a new purpose or something?

        • It does look as if there’s an excessive amount of material, doesn’t it? But more seriously, I know the BBC takes special care with clothes in these costume dramas to make sure they’re authentic, so I guess that must have been what the well-dressed man was wearing! I remember when I was a young kid my Dad’s shirts used to be huge too admittedly, with proper shirt tails and sleeves that you had to wear arm bands to keep up, so the trend for more fitted shirts must only have started in the late 60s or 70s, I think…

  10. FictionFan has the family gift
    For catching in verse just the drift
    Of the plot of a book
    After only one look
    And giving the reader a lift.

    (Well, I had to end it with SOMETHING that rhymed)!

  11. Haha! I enjoyed this,,, very clever! And the photos make me want to rewatch P&P for the umpteenth time. I have the BBC one and the 2005 film, but Colin Firth is simply the best Darcy. 😉 Also, Jennifer Ehle is more convincing as Lizzie than Keira Knightley.

    • Thanks, Grace! 🙂 I’ve never been able to bring myself to watch the film – to me Firth and Ehle are the definitive Darcy and Lizzie, and I’d be bound to make unfavourable comparisons. You can’t improve on perfection… 😉

  12. This is my favourite blog post ever, I’ve laughed and laughed. And, the last photo (of Mr Darcy’s sideburns) was the icing on the cake. **Sigh of happiness**.
    The ‘poetic’ comments which followed were just as good, loved the duel!

    • Haha! Glad you enjoyed it! You can never have too many excuses for Darcy pics, in my opinion…

      The duel was great fun – I think we’ve discovered one of William’s secret talents! 😀

  13. You are too, too much! I’ve been laughing all through this – and am very impressed with your rhyming! Much better than my usually unrhyming free verse…
    Parsee and Farsi rhyme with Darcy, of course, so you could have him speaking foreign languages – or maybe the sight of him makes you break out in Farsi…
    Divorcee also comes to mind (or is that my subconscious telling me I’d leave everything for Darcy?).
    I wish someone would do a poem series like that of The Brothers Karamazov – a book I still haven’t managed to get through, after 3-4 attempts.

    • Haha! Glad you enjoyed it! Now you know why I’m so impressed by people like yourself who can really write poetry – I’m afraid I never progressed past the dodgy limerick stage myself! Now divorcee could work – though if he comes back on the market I’d have to fight you for him…

      Yes, I’m still hoping someone can summarise War and Peace down to three limericks – though that would make the two months I spent ploughing through the original feel even more of a mistake!

    • Haha! You know I’m never going to be able to read my favourite scene again without thinking of that, don’t you?

      “I love and admire you” said Darcy
      To which she replied “Lawd ha’ marcy!”

      Why is it I now visualise her dressed like Scarlett O’Hara…?

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