Darcy by any other name…
MarinaSofia this week upped the reviewing ante by producing a poem in lieu of a book review. Now, she has an unfair advantage by virtue of the fact that she is a poet, but nonetheless I feel the gauntlet has been thrown down.
So, never one to refuse a challenge, here goes…
.
.
There was a young woman from Longbourn
Who treated her suitor with much scorn
But when she saw his great house
She would fain be his spouse
The poor girl was really quite lovelorn.
.
.
Her sisters were terribly busy
Catching husbands, which left our poor Lizzie
On the shelf, until Darcy
Took her hand at a party*
And they danced till they both were quite dizzy.
* (well, you try and find a rhyme for Darcy, smartypants!)
.
.
Now some people call this a romance
(Just ’cause they don’t like to dance)
But wait just a moment!
It’s deep social comment
And gets 5-stars from me! *happy trance*
.
.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
OK, your turn. Now…who’s going to do War and Peace…?
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* * * * * * *
PS If you’d like to see how it’s really done, do visit MarinaSofia’s blog, Finding Time to Write – a great place for poetry and reviews, plus she hunts down all the best locations for the readers and writers amongst us to lust after…
*laughing lots* That was a great poem, FEF! Nothing to be embarrassed about at all, don’t you know.
Now, I have learned a few things about P&P, though, surprisingly. Have you noticed in the first picture? Lizio’s neck is out of proportion to the rest of her body! It’s juts forward at an odd angle. And the other thing is…well, Lizio is a different height in every picture! Haha.
I do wonder what might rhyme with Darcy. You should’ve used his real name: Darby. But I still can’t think of something to rhyme.
*laughs* Thank you, kind sir! I learned everything I know from Shnoddy’s poetry classes!
No she’s not! It’s just that Darby’s legs grow and shrink depending on the weather… *nods knowledgeably*
Yeah – I tried Darby, but that was worse! She should have danced with Wickham instead… then I could have used… er…
Nah, you’re better than him, for sure, I’m thinking! You know…he looks like an old Darby…
*laughs* Really? I always knew he wore fake legs! Imagine that.
Yes? Yes? I’m horrid at rhyming.
Better than Shnoddy?! Impossible!! Darby is like FF – eternally youthful!
OK…
At first she fancied Wickham
But found she couldn’t stick ‘im!
He went too far, see,
So she turned to Darcy
(Boy, could that girl pick ’em!)
That’s really good! Bravo. *claps his hands* You’ve got something to offer here, o uncreative one!!
Hahaha! *curtseys and preens* Glad you enjoyed it, kind sir, but I don’t think limericks really count as creativity!! *chuckles*
This is a super poem, FF, and I don’t even like poems which counts me out of doing War & Peace. Also – ‘car seat’ almost rhymes with Darcy (I am going to be thinking about this all afternoon now!)
*laughs* Thank you, Lucy – but I think the Poet Laureate is probably still safe! Hmm…
“On the shelf, until Darcy
Da-da-dum-diddy car seat…”
I’m not altogether sure I want to complete that line 😉
Safe… but quivering, no doubt!
Probably for the best, but it does conjour up all kinds of mental images… 😉
Haha! Yes, it did for me too… is it us, d’you think? 😉
It must be!
Oh, FictionFan, this is fantastic!!!! Absolutely wonderful!! I am impressed, and I love the way you preserve both the spirit of the novel and its wit.
Haha! Thanks, Margot! Doggerel is my speciality…! 😉
Jane Austen has sometimes perplexed me
Her static plots often have vexed me
But Ms. Ehle’s great beauty
And Ms. Harker, a cutie
Meant that P6P watchng annexed me!
HahaHA! Brilliant! Bravo! I just love limericks!
But I do much prefer thrilling tales
Of pirates, or swordsmen, or whales
Gentility’s pleasures
Are best taken in measures
Then I yearn for the unfurling sails!
But when pirates have furled up those sails
And spotted the mermaids’ fine tails
Their thoughts turn to romance
Even swordsmen must dance!
(But the same can’t be said of the whales.)
Well done!! Witty and clever, and makes a very legitimate point! 🙂
Although…
Yes, all sailors come home from the sea
Sit by hearth logs, and even drink tea
But the mermaids who beckon
Avoid dress balls, I reckon
And are found where life’s maintenance-free
You simply don’t understand women
We all want our furbelows trimmin’
Even those maids
Would fight a crusade
To go dancin’ instead of jus’ swimmin’
Laughing appreciatively! And note that I didn’t say I wanted to live a life on the sea, just read about it!
For to read ocean tales from afar
Suits much more than the life of a tar
The thrill’s just vicarious
No sea storms to harry us
It’s more comfy and dry where we are!
Haha! Indeed it is! That was great fun, William – I don’t think I’ve ever had a limerick duel before! I declare the contest a draw! But “vicarious”/”harry us” gets the prize for best rhyme of the day…
Oh my goodness! Your poetry is superlative! Or at least top notch (is that better than superlative?). I am not a poet at all. Ever. And I enjoyed looking at Colin Firth – again. LOL
HahaHA! Thank you! Top notch is definitely better! 😉 I fear the limerick is as “good” as I get – and even then sometimes it’s necessary to read it in a funny voice to make it scan… but any excuse for Darcy pics, eh?
I heard along the Grapevine (cue for Wilson Pickett) that a messenger is flying North of the Border. Lizzie (not Jane Austen’s Lizzie but the one who wears a crown and has corgis) has told Carol Ann Duffy to pack her bags because she had been SACKED by her majesty. And I gather (so says Wilson Pickett) that someone will be knocking at your door any time soon with a hastily woven wreath of bay laurel leaves (unfortunately, given government cutbacks these are now from a tub of dried laurel leaves picked up from Lidl and stuck roughly together in the approximate shape by the use of staples. Still, it’s the thought that counts.
I hope Carol Ann isn’t too devastated. At least its going to another Scottish woman poet
PS – Parsee, arsey, karsey (she settled her arsey on the karsey?) Baroness Varsi, …….the possibilities are almost endless
Poor Carol Ann – if only someone had told her to stick to dodgy limericks! But I shall turn down the offer – I am aiming to become the Doggerel Laureate – my wreath shall be made from Bonio biscuits, with a carefully positioned squeaky toy at the brow!
“Arsey on the karsey”???!!!!!!!! Oh, no – I don’t write erotic poetry!
What about scrapping the took her hand at the party line and replacing it with
‘introduced her to Baroness Varsi’ and rewriting the story so that instead of marriage and Darcy she finds her calling is politics and she takes a pop at standing for elections to the Labour Party Leadership? (Wonders briefly if a new career could await if I put in a bid to write one of the endless dreadful rehashes of our best beloved books. Jeremy Corbyn as Darcy??
Well if you’re writing it in rhyme then you may want to consider including the lines
“and after Darcy she did dump
She took up with that bounder, Trump
It caused the folk to stop and stare
She with her beauty, and he with his…”
Hmm… now I just can’t seem to think of a word to rhyme with stare…
Ah, I love when Darcy makes his inevitable comeback here. Wonderful poetry here, FF. Your love of the man really shows through. I wonder if “took her hand rather than parting” rhymes with that Darcy line? I’m not good at rhyming, you know. I never do it. I can’t even properly read a Dr. Seuss book! I get all garbledooked…
Good Lord, to begin a poem about War and Peace?! *storms off to ask the Professor for his katana*
Haha! Thank you! I may write all my reviews as limericks in future – now what words rhyme with “maverick drunken cop”? 😉
*laughs* Well that’d certainly be useful for the War part… I’m not sure he’d be much help with the Peace bit, though…
Great job! You deserve a brimming full bag of chocolate.
Haha! Thank you! I wish I had one… 😉
Well done, FF!! You might claim to not be a poet, but your work says you are! And who but a true poet would even think War and Peace could be made into a poem??
One tiny question for you: in the second picture, what kind of shirt is he wearing? It looks almost like a (gasp!) nightshirt!!
Haha! Thanks, Debbie… but I don’t think I’ll be looking for a publishing contract just yet! 😉 If War and Peace had been written entirely in limericks, though, it might have been more fun…
*shocked* How dare you suggest my Lizzie saw him in his nightclothes before they were married! She would have turned discreetly away… and just peeked…
HaHa, then what kind of shirt was he wearing? Perhaps fashion from today has borrowed fashion from long ago — and given it a new purpose or something?
It does look as if there’s an excessive amount of material, doesn’t it? But more seriously, I know the BBC takes special care with clothes in these costume dramas to make sure they’re authentic, so I guess that must have been what the well-dressed man was wearing! I remember when I was a young kid my Dad’s shirts used to be huge too admittedly, with proper shirt tails and sleeves that you had to wear arm bands to keep up, so the trend for more fitted shirts must only have started in the late 60s or 70s, I think…
FictionFan has the family gift
For catching in verse just the drift
Of the plot of a book
After only one look
And giving the reader a lift.
(Well, I had to end it with SOMETHING that rhymed)!
FF takes after BigSister, she
Has always been partial to mystery.
But when writing a rhyme
They are equally fine
Though the lines may be somewhat tongue-twistery.
🙂
I stand in awe of you and all your poet commenters.
Haha! Thank you! It’s been a lot of fun 😀
Ha, ha! That was great! Nope, I will not be doing any of these any time soon. Especially not War and Peace!
Haha! Thanks, LR! No, I notice no-one rose to the War and Peace challenge… yet! 😉
Haha! I enjoyed this,,, very clever! And the photos make me want to rewatch P&P for the umpteenth time. I have the BBC one and the 2005 film, but Colin Firth is simply the best Darcy. 😉 Also, Jennifer Ehle is more convincing as Lizzie than Keira Knightley.
Thanks, Grace! 🙂 I’ve never been able to bring myself to watch the film – to me Firth and Ehle are the definitive Darcy and Lizzie, and I’d be bound to make unfavourable comparisons. You can’t improve on perfection… 😉
Love it! That being said, anything related in any way shape or form to Jane Austen is quite lovable. 🙂
Haha, thanks! Yes indeed, especially if that shape and form happens to resemble Colin Firth… 😉
Thanks for popping in and commenting. 😀
This is my favourite blog post ever, I’ve laughed and laughed. And, the last photo (of Mr Darcy’s sideburns) was the icing on the cake. **Sigh of happiness**.
The ‘poetic’ comments which followed were just as good, loved the duel!
Haha! Glad you enjoyed it! You can never have too many excuses for Darcy pics, in my opinion…
The duel was great fun – I think we’ve discovered one of William’s secret talents! 😀
You are too, too much! I’ve been laughing all through this – and am very impressed with your rhyming! Much better than my usually unrhyming free verse…
Parsee and Farsi rhyme with Darcy, of course, so you could have him speaking foreign languages – or maybe the sight of him makes you break out in Farsi…
Divorcee also comes to mind (or is that my subconscious telling me I’d leave everything for Darcy?).
I wish someone would do a poem series like that of The Brothers Karamazov – a book I still haven’t managed to get through, after 3-4 attempts.
Haha! Glad you enjoyed it! Now you know why I’m so impressed by people like yourself who can really write poetry – I’m afraid I never progressed past the dodgy limerick stage myself! Now divorcee could work – though if he comes back on the market I’d have to fight you for him…
Yes, I’m still hoping someone can summarise War and Peace down to three limericks – though that would make the two months I spent ploughing through the original feel even more of a mistake!
(well, you try and find a rhyme for Darcy, smartypants!)
If I were a Southern evangelist preacher I could: “Lawd ha’ marcy!”
Haha! You know I’m never going to be able to read my favourite scene again without thinking of that, don’t you?
“I love and admire you” said Darcy
To which she replied “Lawd ha’ marcy!”
Why is it I now visualise her dressed like Scarlett O’Hara…?
Dog dad blaim it. I was expecting Dancing music.
Haha! You’ve got a dancing Darcy! Isn’t that enough?? 😉
I guess it will have to be enough, right?
I don’t know – some people are never satisfied! 😉
True. But what can you do?
Throw blancmanges at them…
That seems a bit like murdering.
Oh no, the blancmanges will be fine!
My little granny used to make that stuff. I think because of the Depression.
So did my mother – and it certainly depressed me! 😉
Laughing. She also made me Lemon meringue pie. For that I could forgive multitude of blanch
Mmm… I adore lemon merigue pie!
I always had one for my birthday since I preferred it to cake.
That should never be an either/or question…
It never is for me.
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