Surprise party!!!

A castle somewhere in Scotland…


sofa 1

Right, everyone – he’s on his way! Get behind the sofa! Shhhhh! Manly-Man, this is no time to be disco-dancing! Fats Henry, please breathe in. Schwarzy, my sweetie pumpkin pie, you know I think your loon impersonations are cute and adorable but…NOT NOW!! Shhhhh! Here he comes. Ready…?





Come on in, Prof. Grab yourself a glass of punch and some cashews, and relax while your friends give you birthday greetings with their…


* * * * * * * * * * *


From Susan P at The Portugal Years


Are you ready, kids? AYE AYE, PROFESSOR
Who lives in a pickle under the sea?
Professor VJ!
Sly and slippery and clever is he
Professor VJ!
If Punchy Land nonsense you would see
Professor VJ!
Then climb up to the nearest tree
Professor VJ!
PROFESSOR VJ !!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday, Professor! Many happy returns of the day.

Susan P

(Apologies to Sponge Bob)


* * * * * * * * * * *


From Debbie at Musings by an ND Domer’s Mom


Public domain image, royalty free stock photo from


* * * * * * * * * * *


From John W. Howell at Fiction Favorites


The Professor Duke

by John W. Howell © 2015

Born another time,
Creating life for goodness…
Punchy Lands for laughs.


 * * * * * * * * * * *


From The Lite Rider


Lite Rider


* * * * * * * * * * *


From PorterGirl at Secret Diary of PorterGirl


When I heard about the Professor’s birthday party, I was mightily excited. This is an important occasion, I thought to myself, and no doubt I will be needing some new shoes in honour of it. In fact, new shoes seemed essential. Whilst shopping for the new shoes it occurred to me that I should really think of a suitable gift to present to the Professor on this auspicious day. Now, what does the Professor like? I thought to myself. He likes eating things, I concluded and immediately set about baking him a cherry cake. But I am sad to say that the cherry cake smelled so good that I could not stop myself from eating it. Feeling rather contrite, I resolved to replace the cherry cake with a sausage sandwich. He would be sure to like a sausage sandwich. But disaster struck a second time and Terry ate the sausage sandwich. Which is why I stand here before you today, Professor, with only my very best wishes and a winning smile with which to offer you for your birthday. Also this…

*performs an elaborate and unusual dance*.

Happy birthday, P.VJ!


* * * * * * * * * * *


From Walt Walker at waltbox


bannerfans_15120449 (1)


* * * * * * * * * * *


From Audrey Dawn at Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister


Happy Birthday, Duke
Duke, the name that suits you
You, yes, you, the one I’m writing to
To wish, the happiest of birthdays.
Birthdays only come once a year
Year: the time it took me
Me, to wish you a Happy Birthday.
Birthday Boy, Duketh, is who you are
Are you wishing for anything at all?
All we need to determine, you see,
See, once we know, we’ll exhaust trying
Trying to attempt the perfect gift.
Gift, your wish, seems simple enough
Enough time with you we’ll never have
Have you felt how much you’re loved?
Loved by many and bits and bits more
More of you is all we wait to see
See how easily we reconvene.
Reconvene to the same familiar blog
Blog birthday parties are tops
Tops is who you have proven to be
Be another dadblame year older.
Older is what comes with waking up
Up for whatever, you’ve proven lots.
Lots of admiration on your special day
Day and night pals stopping by to say
Say to you, professor, Happy Birthday.


* * * * * * * * * * *


More punch, Prof? And perhaps a slice of pie?

cherry pie


* * * * * * * * * * *


From sonmi at Sonmi’s Cloud


The Professor is a man of many facets, abounding with enthusiasm, curiosity, exclamation marks and questions!!?? He has been a regular visitor here on the Cloud for a good while now and at no point have I actually had to release the hounds. He likes to wax lyrical on the subject of his impressive mighty weapon and waggles it about willy nilly at the drop of a hat when any ladies are within a radius of twenty feet, and only recently was a winner in the prestigious award ceremony ‘The Cloudies’, winning the award for the blogger…….

‘Most likely to be a serial killer on the sly, but you’d still take a chance and invite them round for afternoon tea award’.

He was presented with a Hannibal lecter mask made entirely out of dried pasta and a patchwork sheath for his laptop embroidered with the words “You don’t have to be a serial killer to work here, but I clearly am anyway”.
What more can I say? Lots actually but Fictionfan is about to open a trapdoor beneath my feet on the stage, so I’ll just say…

Happy Birthday Professor!! Have a marvellous, wild, wacky and wonderful day in and out of The Punchy Lands – best regards from sonmi and the Cloud.


* * * * * * * * * * *


From L. Marie at El Space


l marie's pic


Happy birthday, Professor. A little poem pour vous:

A little wish from me to
Say happy birthday to you.
May you have lots of joy and
A year so awesomely grand.

I’m so glad to have discovered the Punchy Lands! Thanks for the many laughs you’ve provided me.

L. Marie


* * * * * * * * * * *


From Desert Dweller at S S Hicks


There is an old Professor, who is actually quite young, ruling the Punchy Lands with dadblameittry, punchinnytry, humdingatry and overall ri-do-diculoutry. He is a fierce and ruthless warrior, a sword carrying wordsmith of punchy speaks, chumming around with the likes of Schwarz, Fats Henry and the tireless flirt, Amelia, who has bugs for eyelashes and makes FF delirious with jealousy (somewhere she is flouncing about). It is not a great secret that our Professor is a skilled and talented musician, dueling his guitar with the only worthy opponent – himself – but he is also a master contrarian, sweet and generous and kind. However, this would sicken him and I’m getting off script, because he prefers his edges to remain rough, as any good skilled warrior will tell you. He lifts crooked dumbbells, you see, and reads books full of garbledook. But this mysterious and reluctant ladies man is turning 85 (in PL years, of course). Schwarz will no doubt give him three rats and a heifer, Amelia will try and steal a kiss, the Salami clan will attempt to throw him from a cliff, but I, the Desert Dweller (DD), send a million wishes, or maybe just 5, for the happiest birthday to the most esteemed Professor alive! Chickit.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The Eternal Triangle


“So, Prof,” says FF, “now that the party pieces are over, perhaps you and I…”

“Hi, sweetie!” A piercing squeak breaks into the conversation, so high-pitched that bats for miles around raise their ears in astonished gardooblement.

“Oh…uuh…umm,” the Professor mumbles, his eyelid twitching involuntarily, “Hi, Amelia!”


FF spins round so fast Einstein has to redo his calculations, and there, helping herself to punch from the buffet table, slinks a vile creature in a skintight venom-green mini-dress, fluttering her eyelashes so violently that PorterGirl (who’s only little) is blown clean across the room.

Artist's impression of Amelia
Artist’s impression of Amelia

FF flounces over, tartan ballgown swishing. “And what, madam, are you doing here? You weren’t invited!”

“I’ve come to give my Dukey-baby a great big birthday kiss!” Amelia simpers, giggling as she waggles her talons at the Professor. He glances down, perhaps regretting after all that he has chosen to wear his pulchritudinous pants…

FF growls ferociously. “Dadblameit! YOU…SHALL…NOT…PASS!! L. Marie, would you be so good as to hand me that dessert?” And, with all the skill of a Red Sox pitcher, FF splats the blancmange straight at the man-eating little minx. A direct hit!


Amelia gasps and stumbles backwards, tipping over the buffet table. As she slides inelegantly to the floor, the punchbowl empties its contents neatly over her Medusa-like hairdo.


Gazing at the bedraggled heap at her feet, FF chuckles. “Now that’s what I call Punchy!”

And tripping lightly across the room (and accidentally across Amelia), FF takes the Professor’s arm, smiling sweetly. “As I was about to say, my dear C-W-W, shall we dance…?”

Artist's impression of the Prof and FF
Artist’s impression of the Prof and FF

* * * * * * * * * * *

NB If anyone missed the pre-party shenanigans, you’ll find them over at Portergirl’s…

* * * * * * * * * * *






* * * * * * * * * * *

134 thoughts on “Surprise party!!!

  1. So much fun. Where is my piece of cake? I think I see it on some one’s backside over there. Should not have placed it on the chair. Even for a moment. Happy Birthday professor VJ

  2. Reblogged this on The Portugal Years and commented:
    Do we have fun? Oh yeah! Our beloved Professor VJ is having a birthday. Though he is ancient, and occasionally crusty, he does serve up a lot of confusion and mayhem. Many returns of the day, PVJ.

  3. *laughs for the next 12 days, I’m thinking* I don’t know where to begin, besides this is one of the most specialist things ever…for sure!

    The poems, writings, and wishes were all just tops. And the fonts and pictures !!! *blows far away* Thank you all!

    And Amelia even showed up! And she went bald, or is bald. It’s a wonder. And I got to dance!

    *goes to read it all over again*

  4. Happy birthday, Professor! I hope you realize how much you’re appreciated and how much Amelia is pilloried. (That photo does her justice.)

    Thanks to FictionFan and PorterGirl to for everything!

  5. Ooh, what FUN!! Happy B-day, Professor. With wishes such as these, you’re sure to have a splendiferous day! FF, thanks again for organizing this one (and for letting me be a part of it!!) That artist’s rendition of the insect-eyed Amelia made me laugh right out loud, ha!)

  6. Knock, knock, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK – oh well they can’t hear a thing what with all the punches being toasted, the toasts being punched, the dances being danced and the air full of flying cashew nuts and the like.

    What a wonderful surprise party thrown in your honour, Prof – I trust you are enjoying it hugely – it’s difficult to spot you amongst the whirling jolly throng – if I can just locate FF and knock back a few cashews and punches I shall join in the knees, ups, the sing-songs and all the rest, any time soon

    Freeeeeeeeeeeeeees a jolly good felllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllerrrrrrrrr, Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees a jolly good felllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees a jolly god feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllowwwwwwwwwwwww and so shay all of US (i found the punch, several times, obviously)

    • Phew! Thank goodness I got in extra punch supplies! *makes mental note not to tell LF where they are* Come in! Come in! We’re just about to start the dancing – put down your impeccably colour co-ordinated handbag and hat and grab a partner for the cotillion. But NOT the Professor…!! *growls warningly*

      • Oh. OK. In that case if Mr Wickham is free – isn’t that the name of the rather dashing young gent wearing some positively clinging clothing adorning his lower limbs, and with the..most..magnificent set of arms ever able to swing a girl into dizziness around the dance floor..hootenanny, take your partners, doh-si-doh….great must let me know the recipe for this rather enlivening punch…shall we sing to the professor again…freeesse seven jolly good felllows-i didn’t know he was one of septuplets identical twins! Remarkable. And what a coincidence that you too are one of 7, and all of you, dancing together. Remarkable!

        • *shakes head despairingly* It’s always the quiet ones! You seem to be confusing Mr Wickham with Rafa….and less of the doh-si-doh, if you don’t mind! I’m trying to bring a little class to the occasion and with you dancing a barndance and PorterGirl swinging from the chandalier, it’s not easy! Seven Professors!! Too much for my poor mind to contemplate… *shudders and faints*

  7. The thoughtfulness here brings tears to the eyes. It’s a small, small, world. If you have one good friend…. ALL THE BEST TO YOU PROFESSOR AND YOUR WITTY & DEDICATED FRIENDS.

    What a wild and crazy party. Any pie left or am I too late?

    • So glad you came! There is still pie but unfortunately most of it appears to be stuck to the picture of Bonnie Prince Charlie…

      (I’m sorry you didn’t get an invite – but I couldn’t find an e-mail address for you. Glad you found the party anyway! 😀 )

  8. Here I was, still on the cusp of illness while volunteering at my son’s library time at school and then shlepping a pair of boys to an ungodly cold and blustery baseball game that lasted into the darkness when no one could see the actual baseball being thrown or hit, and the opposing coach nearly got into fisticuffs with the umpire….and I missed the party. I think you all were having way more fun than I!

    Happy belated birthday!

Please leave a comment - I'd love to know who's visiting and what you think...of the post, of the book, of the blog, of life, of chocolate...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.