My secret love’s no secret any more…

‘A girl who reads’, in her Ode to physical books, has thrown down a challenge, so allow me to tell you about my secret love affair…

How do I love thee, my Kindle Fire? Let me count the ways…

kindle case1) You hold a library-full of fine literature without dislocating my shoulder.

2) You understand that sometimes as we age we may need to increase the font-size.

3) You let me zoom in on pictures (see reason 2)

4) When I forget who a character is halfway through, you allow me to search on his name and show all references to him.

5) When I don’t understand something you let me link straight through to Wikipedia with just two taps.

6) You have a selection of covers that enables you to co-ordinate with whatever I’m wearing.


7) You deliver the latest Ian Rankin at 1 a.m. on publication day – a full 8 hours before most bookshops open.

8) You read Jeeves to me in the night from your audiobook section.

9) Your usual beautiful padded grey/black cover is gorgeously tactile and doubles as a stand…

10) …and allows me to read complete trash in public without destroying my street-cred.

And, more than all this, you make sure that wherever I am, Darcy is no more than I click away…



“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you…”


Oh, Darcy! Oh, Kindle!!*

*Other e-readers may be available. For that matter, so may other men, but who wants them?

32 thoughts on “My secret love’s no secret any more…

  1. LOL!! Oh, this is absolutely priceless!!!! You’ve captured so neatly why people develop such passionate relationships with their e-readers. Thank you for a much-needed laugh.

    • You can download an app from Audible and then download audiobooks straight to the Fire – or access them direct from your Audible Library. You can also get audiobooks onto an original Kindle by (if I remember right) attaching by USB to your PC and then dragging and dropping. 🙂

  2. Oh, no, not Darcy! I have had it up to here with ‘First Impressions’! Why, you know what Mr. Mark Twain had to say about Austen…why, it staggers the mind!! 😉 Sorry for the ramble…I should do a ripping book review on Austen, but…do I have the heart to read anything she wrote? I don’t think so!! 🙂

    ~ Prof VJ

  3. Have you thought of writing for Mills and Boon? I know that I call the Lakeland catalogue pornography for cooks, but a Kindle Fire?

  4. And handy for the tight-fists with its ready supply of classical and modern freebie literature. Maybe not so good for re-reading books, but how often does one re-read library books anyhow? I’m grateful for airplane baggage-friendly reading material!

    • Lol! I have so many Complete Works of classic authors on my Kindle I’d need at least three lifetimes to read them all – and all for about £20 total! But it’s nice to know they’re there… 🙂

      • Just as effective a status-marker as any creaking bookshelf of pristine-if-unread tomes. Even better, should anyone pry about on the Kindle, you can set the ‘last read page’ to about three fifths of the way through. Enough to impress, not enough to get awkward questions.

        Yes, this has happened.

  5. I’d happily second most of this but have to add a caveat, namely while I can read without others knowing what it is I’m reading it is now much more difficult to be nosy abut what other people are reading and I am a tremendous reading ‘eavesdropper’.

  6. O fickle and easily seduced of women! I remember the time when you HATED your Kindle Fire, cleaving only to your Kindle Touch. Many is the evening I was called to counsel you, offering words of wisdom and comfort. Why, I recall at one point, a separation was even on the cards. Alas, clearly the separation was from the Touch, your faithful, comfy slipper of an eReader, and you’ve done the dirty with a younger model.

    The Fire should be aware it clearly only has your loving attention until a brash and younger model, all rippling muscle and even more smouldering colourful good looks, hoves into view

    I have one other gauntlet to throw at you, as I stand, ALMOST shoulder to shoulder (yes, Kindle 3G you know I find you useful) with the Ode to physical books challenge thrower:

    Ken Kalfus, Equilateral – now who was it who envied me my possession of the real deal book, with its exotic, tactile, sensuous cover, its deeply dreaming dust jacket, its textured trench thick paper so indicative of the trench described therein.

    The other gauntlet must also be the sadly often poor digital formatting. Why are the footnotes all appearing in the wrong place and the charts not present at all in the digibook I am currently devouring, why?

    • My Kindle Keyboard is still loved, much in the way I still feel sentimental about my first boyfriend…er…what was his name again? But the Fire (men, please pay particular attention to this part) listened to all the things I disliked about him – and CHANGED! I said I could never love him until he read aloud to me – off he went and developed an Audible app. I said his cover was no match for Keyboard’s lovely burgundy leather – he came back wearing the smartest most sophisticated grey/black patchwork.

      Real books make lovely ornaments, I agree. My Nonesuch Dickens look gorgeous on the shelf (and also make me look dead intellectual) but the Fire hides all my shameful pulp fiction and serial killers from public view. And if I need to rest my eyes, the Fire plays me any kind of music my heart desires (and sends it in a bluetoothy way to the speaker of my choice). Did Equilateral come with tunes? No, I thought not!

      Jealousy, madam, sheer jealousy!

    • If you ‘accidentally’ dropped it in the bath, you’d have to get a new one… 😉

      I’ve still got my original one, the Kindle Keyboard, and I still love it. In fact, for just plain reading it’s probably easier on the eyes, though the backlit screen on the Fire is much, much better than I expected. And it’s great to be able to get colour illustrations.

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